guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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