Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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