she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
