I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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