I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
