he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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