oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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