Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Please don't give away my fajitas
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
