So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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