i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
