tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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