Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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