i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
