I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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