The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
