So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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