I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
