he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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