Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
