At least make sure they are 18
Why
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
