can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
