Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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