i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
