we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
