Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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