If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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