I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?