His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
