OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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