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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.

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• (626): View more from California

  dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (509): View more from Washington

  first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."

  (301): View more from Maryland

  That wasn't a compliment.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?

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