Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
