found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail