I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
