went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
