I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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