Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
