I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
