I skipped work to stalk him.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
