As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
