the day after is always just damage control
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
