OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
