Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
