trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize