her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
