I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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