The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she told me i tasted like america
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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