What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i out mim tonsoeep
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