Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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