Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
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Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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