paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Couch. On fire.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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