Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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