just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this just has baby written all over it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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