I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
