if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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