there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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