I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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