I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
