my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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