Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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