There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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