1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
