Me. At least after what I've been through.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
