Well douche your snatch and let's go!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize