Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize