Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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