remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
