I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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