I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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